WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

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Linkman
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Linkman » Tue May 03, 2016 12:48 am

Please don't talk about the better ways to suicide. I am in favour of sharing and not judging, but I will draw the line at suicide advice.
"everytime I try to draw xen I end up drawing a kangaroo smoking a cigar while chainsawing a tree" - Deoxy
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Dragonite
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Dragonite » Tue May 03, 2016 1:39 am

To be fair Deoxy didn't came across as truly supporting it, and it does seem she've been through a lot that the majority of posters don't really know, and the gun remarks are indeed meant to discourage. Doesn't make it any less disturbing though, and not very tactical either.

I can understand Bog's feelings, although I would like to beat several dead unicorns and tell you to not give in to such thoughts. The last few years have been a storm of emotions, mental instability, and way to much medical crap to count for you. Your current mental state probably isn't neutral either of a psychologist and a neurologist would look at it. Bottom line is that this might not be the best vantage point to judge everything that has happened. Although from the looks of it you aren't considering going through with any of it but just want to have a outlet for the nagging feelings you have(at least, that's what I think).

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by daisy » Tue May 03, 2016 2:22 am

I'm not going to do anything purely because I'm not allowed to.

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scraggypunk
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by scraggypunk » Tue May 03, 2016 4:36 am

try not to let that trapped feeling you're having make you resentful. it'll spread to not just the people holding you back but everyone you come across

if you're going to live, it's not a good way to
wisdom
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by daisy » Tue May 03, 2016 7:29 am

Tbh I've been doing it for years, but it's only recently dawned on me that that's what I've been doing. If I was asked to be born I would've said no. /emo

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scraggypunk
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by scraggypunk » Tue May 03, 2016 7:33 am

then you're where i'm at! woo

if you think of anything let me know
wisdom
"the law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread" - anatole france

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by ThunderWalker » Tue May 03, 2016 11:17 pm

To be honest, I understand it. I've only recently came to terms with, well... that humanity just plain sucks absolute bollocks. We seriously are not much smarter than our average pet, and certainly none the wiser. But we, humans, have knowledge. And we usually use that knowledge for our own selfish ways. The fact that humans follow each other like a bunch of sheep - well, we usually follow the idiot with the biggest mouth (point in case: Donald Trump) does not make things better at all. Humans don't really want to think for themselves because we are afraid to be alone, instinctually.


This is all not motivating, but if you can come to peace with it it will be better. On the other hand, I don't really mix well with other humans at all if a relationship loses its formality, so in that regards I don't know if it will be an overall improvement. I have no friends - but I really do not want any friends either. I can get along with most humans as long as it remains mostly formal - but godforbid if it doesn't.

But to be honest, I don't know myself how I feel. I shedded most human instincts during my teenage years, result of my autism having collapsed upon itself a few years before and I simply had to reforge myself in who I wanted to be. It did not work out perfectly, far from it, but what could one expect?
However, as I chose to make the choices myself instead of to have time making them for me (because a personality can't be totally void - there will always be influences seeking to fill that void), and my past was enough of an unbearable presence that it could have easily turned me into a total monster if I did not act immidiately. But even with the choices I have made, well... I gained an empathic link - which is as awkward as it sounds, more of a curse than a blessing, which can easily cripple me (and reduced my faith into humanity to a negative value), not to mention it can be overloaded. And I'm kinda terrified of that ever happening.

Since then, I had a few medical issues and stuff, some being very painful and other, more recent issues have likely not been solved yet. And no living creature is not immortal, so more will eventually follow anyway, eventually resulting in my death. Time does not sit still. But I'm not afraid of my death. It's something that is certain - however, when it will happen is obviously a big question mark.
Strangely, I never felt the urge to commit suicide, despite having lost the will to live on more than once and still doing occassionally. But suicide is, for whatever reason, nowhere to find in my book. I don't feel like extinquishing my candle of life personally, it feels too counterproductively.


But, even after all I've seen, felt and have been through, I came to peace with what humanity is. But I became an alien in the process. But, luckily, also aliens will eventually die. Like everything, death is both a blessing and a curse. I can't reccommend seeking it out, ever, but I can suggest you to live your life, Bog. Enjoy it. Life is not eternal, but I'm fairly sure there's some kind of afterlife. It may not be better than this life, so make sure to make the most of your time as a human. And there's always the chance that there's no afterlife at all. In which case, again, make the most of the time you have on this planet. It's beautiful. It's just that humans, and being human, are the worst part of it.
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Dragonite
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Dragonite » Wed May 04, 2016 1:03 am

Well, I have autism too, and I also have issues handling social manners. But having a though time with life doesn't mean humanity automatically sucks. I must admit here my temper kind of flared reading your post.

I've gotten a bit more cynical over the years, and I also harbor some resentment here and there. But I prefer using my limited knowledge of scientific psychology, sociology, evolutionary behaviour to figure out what's weird about humanity and what isn't. Human psychology is weird, it has a lot of dumb flaws society as a whole can't cope with at face value. I'm even skeptical of free will, although that concept is a semantic can of worms, so just keeping limitations of the human psyche in mind is easier and less controversial. But even with all of that there's plenty positive about society and humanity even if you're being realistic.You come across as a bit more bleak then is objectively warranted.

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by MysteriousLad » Wed May 04, 2016 1:41 am

Humanity does pretty badly suck though. Of cause there are moments where people have done amazing things, however in the end most people are just inherently selfish. I could go on but I honestly don't feel like doing so at the moment.

Bog, I don't know who you are however I don't advise escaping life. I may well be completely incorrect but from what I can gather from your posts you're mental health isn't optimal right now. I've often heard of cases where the same drugs dealt to people to fight certain disorders have sapped the person they're meant to be helping of certain emotions. If your still taking these drugs you judgement and view on the world may be impaired by them. If this is not the case then there's nothing I can say, I dislike the thought of suicide however I can understand why it's an options for many. I cannot justify why I would want anyone to stay alive. I do hope however that your health will improve and doesnt degrade, especially as the cause of whatever you have taken.

I've not been entirely fine either. I'm loosing the will to do anything and my mood has been rather grim recently, though my life in many ways is great and I cannot justify why I'm feeling like this. I'm just carrying on however I feel like I'm on autopilot. This is not how I want to be right now, I fear I'm sinking into depression and that's something that I want to avoid at all costs.
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Bonesy
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Bonesy » Wed May 04, 2016 3:59 am

idk i guess i've always been in the camp that sure life sucks and then you die but i've never wanted to kill myself

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Narts
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Narts » Wed May 04, 2016 4:59 am

actually life is pretty damn great and you moping little crumpets are just all a bunch of commies

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Dragonite
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Dragonite » Wed May 04, 2016 5:10 am

MysteriousLad wrote:Humanity does pretty badly suck though. Of cause there are moments where people have done amazing things, however in the end most people are just inherently selfish. I could go on but I honestly don't feel like doing so at the moment.

Bog, I don't know who you are however I don't advise escaping life. I may well be completely incorrect but from what I can gather from your posts you're mental health isn't optimal right now. I've often heard of cases where the same drugs dealt to people to fight certain disorders have sapped the person they're meant to be helping of certain emotions. If your still taking these drugs you judgement and view on the world may be impaired by them. If this is not the case then there's nothing I can say, I dislike the thought of suicide however I can understand why it's an options for many. I cannot justify why I would want anyone to stay alive. I do hope however that your health will improve and doesnt degrade, especially as the cause of whatever you have taken.

I've not been entirely fine either. I'm loosing the will to do anything and my mood has been rather grim recently, though my life in many ways is great and I cannot justify why I'm feeling like this. I'm just carrying on however I feel like I'm on autopilot. This is not how I want to be right now, I fear I'm sinking into depression and that's something that I want to avoid at all costs.
Belated happy birthday to you btw. I'm calling attention to that because I would like to show you this(I forgot if I showed it before..): http://forums.warsworldnews.com/viewtop ... =4&t=10235
I have concluded a great contrast >_>

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MysteriousLad
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by MysteriousLad » Wed May 04, 2016 6:24 am

Should I start emulating you in my posts this week?

Also, I just received news my grandfather has received a minor stroke. He's been suffering from them a lot recently and his health has been deteriorating as a result.
"i put on my robe and wizard hat" ~Pkdragon
"rocks fall everyone dies" ~HPD
Welcome to the optimistic world of WWN :D

And logic doesn't work on MysteriousLad... ~Kireato
Wait, wait, wait.

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by ThunderWalker » Wed May 04, 2016 4:31 pm

Dragonite wrote:Well, I have autism too, and I also have issues handling social manners. But having a though time with life doesn't mean humanity automatically sucks. I must admit here my temper kind of flared reading your post.

I've gotten a bit more cynical over the years, and I also harbor some resentment here and there. But I prefer using my limited knowledge of scientific psychology, sociology, evolutionary behaviour to figure out what's weird about humanity and what isn't. Human psychology is weird, it has a lot of dumb flaws society as a whole can't cope with at face value. I'm even skeptical of free will, although that concept is a semantic can of worms, so just keeping limitations of the human psyche in mind is easier and less controversial. But even with all of that there's plenty positive about society and humanity even if you're being realistic.You come across as a bit more bleak then is objectively warranted.
This is mostly true. Sure we have done some amazing things and stuff, and our modern technology is awesome and could make life so much better, but seriously, we aren't making the most of it.
A rather obvious point in case down below, an ancient gem from some random chat:
Hidden Text
<Sebas> butts
<Erasmus> butts
<Sebas> butts
<Erasmus> butts
<Erasmus> Sometimes I feel like we're not using the Internet to its full potential.
But this example is still fairly amusing.


Why humanity sucks is our selfish desires, and the lengths we are willing to go to to fulfill them. The things humans can do to those who they see as inferior, or even as their possession. My empathic link allows me to detect the worst of these things all too often, and the knowledge of these things, down to the detail... well, this is what made my lose my faith in humanity completely. It's just so dreadful at times and there are way too many humand that are willing to cross the (obvious) lines.
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by DieselPheonix » Wed May 04, 2016 5:33 pm

Wallowing in your own misery is fairly selfish too, you know.

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Narts
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Narts » Wed May 04, 2016 11:58 pm

Selfishness is a virtue, so everything is fine.

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Linkman
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Linkman » Thu May 05, 2016 12:05 am

WWN's Law: given enough time, every discussion comes back to Ayn Rand.
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by HPD » Thu May 05, 2016 4:19 am

Godwwn's Law
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by ThunderWalker » Thu May 05, 2016 5:45 am

If God is WWN, does that mean WWN is God?

*shrugs*

Explains a lot.
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Bonesy » Fri May 06, 2016 6:59 am

god is dog

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Dragonite
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Dragonite » Fri May 06, 2016 8:49 am

Last time I checked he was a deer with the antlers at the torso.

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Pkdragon » Fri May 06, 2016 2:14 pm

oh so this is where everyone hangs out when there's no mafia / hitler germany simulations going on

hi guys
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by daisy » Sat May 07, 2016 8:28 am

Update: I saw my psych today. Stuff's happening. And I got 3 weeks extension on all my uni work.

Also I switched to vaping from roll-ups.

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Alecat
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Alecat » Mon May 09, 2016 7:11 pm

This one kinda sums up the whole... not wanting to live thing for me: https://thenib.com/i-want-to-live-6a40f ... .w5nbe9p0i

Sometimes I've felt very much like I'd rather not exist, but the idea of suicide is far beyond what I'd be capable of. In my angstiest moments I haven't wanted to die, I've just wanted to... cease being.

To want to blink out of existence sometimes I think is not actually that unusual. Unfortunately, we don't have that luxury of just... easily erasing our own being. Instead it's messy, it's permanent, and it's inelegant.

I can't provide a lot of advice as I'm not in your shoes. I don't know to what extent your feelings mirror mine. To tell you to "find something to live for" would be trite. But I think I can say I understand where you're coming from, and I hope that's a helpful thing.

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Kanzer » Tue May 10, 2016 1:01 am

I'd honestly rather kill everyone else than myself.

I'm not precisely in a happy place right now and I'm not going to share any more stories, but even with my down and crumpets mood right now I can honestly say with confidence: life -> worth.
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by scraggypunk » Tue May 10, 2016 12:14 pm

daisy wrote:also I switched to vaping from roll-ups.
vaping marijuana has made me mellow out a little more. i highly recommend it
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Bonesy » Tue May 10, 2016 12:21 pm

weed is a gateway drug

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by ThunderWalker » Tue May 10, 2016 5:16 pm

Alecat wrote:This one kinda sums up the whole... not wanting to live thing for me: https://thenib.com/i-want-to-live-6a40f ... .w5nbe9p0i

Sometimes I've felt very much like I'd rather not exist, but the idea of suicide is far beyond what I'd be capable of. In my angstiest moments I haven't wanted to die, I've just wanted to... cease being.

To want to blink out of existence sometimes I think is not actually that unusual. Unfortunately, we don't have that luxury of just... easily erasing our own being. Instead it's messy, it's permanent, and it's inelegant.

I can't provide a lot of advice as I'm not in your shoes. I don't know to what extent your feelings mirror mine. To tell you to "find something to live for" would be trite. But I think I can say I understand where you're coming from, and I hope that's a helpful thing.
This is very understandable. I think a lot of humans feel like that way every now and then, it's just common. I can tell you I do.

An amusing note on this - I remember an old survey that 65% of all South Koreans were hoping for the world to end on the 21st of December, 2012. Also, 20% of the South Koreans ever contemplated suicide, so there's a big gap there. 20% is still an awful lot (much more than in most other countries) but the culture has a big influence in it (basically "work hard till you drop dead. Don't forget to rent a house in Gangnam, either!"). Gangnam Style, anyone?!
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by ThunderWalker » Mon May 16, 2016 3:34 am

Well, with the above post in mind, let's just say I don't even need to erase myself from existance anymore. I feel absolutely terrible as I write this. Not terrible as in "ill" with a high fever and that sort of stuff, but as in not being well, and knowing it will get worse over time, up to the point that if the source of this illness is not going to be found anytime soon, I will die anyway. It is as if something is eating away at my nerve system from somewhere.

Maybe it is not as bad as I'm fearing, but at this very moment, without any knowledge about whatever it is (and the initial guesses by me and the doctor being incorrect), I feel my parents are going to outlive me by a few decades.

And if this illness is not lethal for whatever reason, well, that is an even worse case scenario than just dying next month. I doubt I want to live on if this will plague me for another three to five decades.
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by DieselPheonix » Mon May 16, 2016 1:49 pm

See another doctor for more input, if you can.

Sometimes I hear of people getting diagnosed with life-threatening conditions only to see another doctor who can treat them.

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by ThunderWalker » Mon May 16, 2016 4:31 pm

DieselPheonix wrote:See another doctor for more input, if you can.

Sometimes I hear of people getting diagnosed with life-threatening conditions only to see another doctor who can treat them.
True. But for now, me and my doctor basically don't know anything. We made a few guesses, and the only thing I know (even he doesn't, as it is weekend) is that they are very likely to be wrong as the symptoms are worsening despite the vitamin supplements being issued to me.

There is no diagnosis as of yet, so there is also a big chance it is something that will not kill me, but will just be frustrating the rest of my life. Since I'm still young - 23 right now - that'd be another three to five decades at the very least.
I don't know... I think that is a worse prospect than death, to be honest.
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Linkman
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Linkman » Tue May 17, 2016 12:21 am

ThunderWalker, dude, you need to take it easy. There is no diagnosis yet. It might be something completely treatable like DP said.
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"I can't believe I'm the only person who voted Stallone. His appeal lies in watching is movies again and again just to hear what the hell he's talking about." - Kilteh

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Guesty » Fri May 20, 2016 8:46 am

So I managed to graduate college without having had a real relationship (the closest thing to one was abusive). I feel like everyone but me knows how to flirt and get significant others, and I wonder what's wrong with me. I honestly don't know how the dating world works and it frustrates me.
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Sniffit II » Sat May 21, 2016 5:36 am

Don't worry about it g-dawg - a large number of my close uni friends (and myself) have either never really had a relationship, or took ages to get into one, and we're nearer 30 than 20 these days, most of us.

I'm sure this dating thing is a real thing, as many of my collegues claim to have done it in the past, and often seem to be associated with a second person (or as they call them: significant others), but to be quite honest, I'm not entirely sure what this concept is - I don't think it relates to the noise a string makes when you pluck it.

Maybe it is, I could be wrong.
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Narts
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Narts » Sat May 21, 2016 5:41 am

You are well on your way to become me, my young padawans.

Soon you will learn how to cast real magic spells.

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Sniffit II
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Sniffit II » Sat May 21, 2016 5:48 am

I've mastered the choking hex already. All you need is a pot, some oil and naga paste.
i don't know what a bishop ninja is but if it can still move diagonal without being seen it's got my vote - Pkdragon

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Linkman
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Linkman » Sat May 21, 2016 6:24 am

Sniffit II wrote:Don't worry about it g-dawg - a large number of my close uni friends (and myself) have either never really had a relationship, or took ages to get into one, and we're nearer 30 than 20 these days, most of us.

I'm sure this dating thing is a real thing, as many of my collegues claim to have done it in the past, and often seem to be associated with a second person (or as they call them: significant others), but to be quite honest, I'm not entirely sure what this concept is - I don't think it relates to the noise a string makes when you pluck it.

Maybe it is, I could be wrong.
Pretty sure it's a fruit, dude:

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Sniffit II
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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Sniffit II » Sat May 21, 2016 7:18 pm

Aaaaah, I knew it had something to do with palms.
i don't know what a bishop ninja is but if it can still move diagonal without being seen it's got my vote - Pkdragon

FEAR ME, FEAR THE FIRE THAT BURNS IN MY BALLS, VERIDIAN FOREST! - Dragonite

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Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by MobiusReactor » Sat Jun 25, 2016 2:56 am

So depression is a thing that kinda sucks. I should clarify that I’ve never officially been diagnosed with depression, but I’ve spoken to several friends who have been and they’ve confirmed that the symptoms seem to match. I’m also going to preface this by saying that I’m quite aware that I’m in a better position than a lot of other people and a lot of this is first-world problems, etc.

There have been many times over the last few years (growing more frequent lately) that I’ve had several days at a time where I’ve felt a complete lack of motivation and enthusiasm for anything, no willpower to actually get up and do anything, and just generally finding it difficult to be happy about anything. This primarily manifests in an inability to focus on things for more than 10 minutes at a time without becoming bored. That and low attendance at uni, to the point where I’ve had emails in the past from staff commenting on my attendance. Thankfully I’m quite a quick learner when it comes to my subject (computer science for anyone that’s curious), so once the “off days” pass I’ve so far been able to catch up and keep my grades respectable. Somehow managed to pass my most difficult class last year despite missing two assignments and a class test.

I’m no expert in psychology or anything like that obviously, but what follows is some analysis from when I get into my “can’t sleep, time to over-analyse things” state that I so often find myself in. Can’t remember the last time I had a decent night’s sleep without waking up at least once during the night.

This is going to sound cold, but to put it bluntly I don’t really care much about my family. I feel like I have very little in common with them, and in recent years have found that I spend very little time with them despite living in the same house. I don’t really have any common interests with my parents, and while I do have some similarities to my brother, that includes our introverted nature, so I don’t really spend all that much time with him either. I’ve spent more time with my girlfriend’s parents lately than I have with my own. I feel kind of like I don’t really belong in this house, obviously I greatly appreciate the fact that I’m welcome here, but if I could afford to, I’d move out tomorrow. Unfortunately having had to get a new car recently, that’s probably not going to be financially viable for quite some time.

Despite being an introvert, my happiness seems to rely heavily on having the few people I care about around me. The times when I’m at my happiest are when I’m with my girlfriend (waking up with someone’s arm around you = best feeling), but she’s also an introvert and depression-sufferer, so quite often she just wants her own space and I don’t see her as often as I otherwise might like. In a way this is probably a good thing, because come September when she moves away for uni I’ll see her even less than I currently do, so it’ll help me get used to that. The problem is also not helped by the fact that my ex was the complete opposite in that she was very dependent, so I got used to pretty much always being there, we were practically living together. Current girlfriend and I have only been together a few months, so I’m not exactly suggesting we should move in together, but it’d be nice to see her more often is all.

On an unrelated note, my country appears to be falling apart at the moment, so that’s also pretty crumpets.

Despite not exactly being the most well-known or active poster here I still feel oddly comfortable talking about this stuff here, so thank you to anyone who actually bothered to read through my rambling.
The user formerly known as St Johnston

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Sven

Re: WWN's Topic of Depressing Things and ANGST

Post by Sven » Sat Jun 25, 2016 2:59 am

see a psychologist

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