So I need dating advice. Badly.

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Guesty

So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Guesty » Fri May 20, 2016 9:24 am

So I graduated college, and managed to do so without any real relationships happening (closest I had was abusive). I'm autistic, so I don't know a lot of things that may be obvious to you guys. I'm tired of being alone and I think I'm almost ready for a relationship.

I want to know:
-Where to meet women
-What flirting is
-How to flirt without coming on too strong
-How to tell if someone is interested
-When to ask people out
-How to dress attractively
-How to have better luck in online dating
-How to compensate for only being 5 foot 7 inches
-When it's appropriate to do playful touching
-How to be charismatic

You can answer some of the questions, all of the questions, or give your own insight into dating. If you're in a relationship, I'm also curious to how you guys met.

Also does speed dating work?
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scraggypunk
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by scraggypunk » Fri May 20, 2016 11:02 am

- pretty much everywhere. however! don't approach women who are clearly giving "don't talk to me" signals. such as: wearing headphones, in the middle of a workout, reading, having a conversation with other people, on their cell phone
- smiling and cute compliments
- listen to them when they're talking and ask follow up questions/bring up related topics, do not under any circumstance use "lines", bring up constructive hobbies
- they respond earnestly and not tepidly
- depends on the context
- matching colours, ironed clothing, clean. black + a little splash of colour works great
- read their profile and comment on something in their profile
- confidence
- it isn't
- practice
wisdom
"the law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread" - anatole france

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DieselPheonix

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by DieselPheonix » Fri May 20, 2016 3:08 pm

Why do you feel like you need to date someone? Loneliness can be addressed in various ways. Forcing yourself into such a relationship seems a little excessive.


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Narts
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Narts » Fri May 20, 2016 3:10 pm

We're all autistic here

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Pkdragon
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Pkdragon » Fri May 20, 2016 4:50 pm

DieselPheonix wrote:Why do you feel like you need to date someone? Loneliness can be addressed in various ways. Forcing yourself into such a relationship seems a little excessive.
indeed

i've come to realize that i'm more than happy without a girlfriend and that most relationships would cause more stress than they'd be worth. still single, still a virgin, and i honestly don't care.
HPD wrote:You know the only thing on the agenda of the Squirtle Squad is pure, unadulterated chaos.

That, and watching Euros squirm.

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Dragonite
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Dragonite » Fri May 20, 2016 8:29 pm

Also on the single train, but to be honest, I got to figure out how to actually start trying. I'm open about caring not having ever had a girlfriend or anything approaching it, but I'm somewhat skeptical about getting smooth quickly. Maybe I have areas I need to put more effort or or be less insecure about(having a social life might help a tad), but for some reason I don't like approaching it as having to master dating techniques or something like that.

And when it comes down to it I've been just a bit busy having a stable and happy life in general, so I don't really have much energy left to figure to focus on my dating faults.

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Narts
Rank: sexually identify as an assault rifle

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Narts » Sat May 21, 2016 1:44 am

VR Porn

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Guesty

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Guesty » Sat May 21, 2016 2:23 am

Thanks deoxy for all your advice! And DieselPheonix, how else should I deal with loneliness? And I want a relationship because I want to know what a healthy relationship is like, and the closest thing I had to a relationship was abusive (2 years ago). I don't want to force myself into one but I want to make more of an effort in finding a relationship and such.

I've also been on a 2 year dry spell.
Last edited by Guesty on Sat May 21, 2016 2:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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daisy
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by daisy » Sat May 21, 2016 2:26 am

Lol sup Guesty.


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Narts
Rank: sexually identify as an assault rifle

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Narts » Sat May 21, 2016 2:35 am

you should look into the ancient arabic art of playful touching called taharrush gamai

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Linkman
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Linkman » Sat May 21, 2016 2:51 am

Not to be detrimental but didn't we have this exact same topic about a year ago? Or did I dream that?
"everytime I try to draw xen I end up drawing a kangaroo smoking a cigar while chainsawing a tree" - Deoxy
"I can't believe I'm the only person who voted Stallone. His appeal lies in watching is movies again and again just to hear what the hell he's talking about." - Kilteh

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Dragonite
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Dragonite » Sat May 21, 2016 3:20 am

It might have come up within the depressing topic.
Thinking about it further, I think you're better off asking a WWN member in private then trying to resolve it in a topic. Allows you both to be more open, and to avoid advice growing overly generalist and vague.

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Guesty

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Guesty » Sat May 21, 2016 3:36 am

Linkman wrote:Not to be detrimental but didn't we have this exact same topic about a year ago? Or did I dream that?
I don't think I asked this on WWN a year ago. Someone else may have.
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daisy
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by daisy » Sat May 21, 2016 4:16 am

Linkman wrote:Not to be detrimental but didn't we have this exact same topic about a year ago? Or did I dream that?
I was thinking the exact same thing.

EDIT: http://forums.warsworldnews.com/viewtop ... 9&p=386213

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scraggypunk
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by scraggypunk » Sat May 21, 2016 4:24 am

just be outside in the world. walk to places instead of driving/biking/etc if time isn't a concern. go into public places and see what happens. be around people and you'll naturally get more social without even thinking about it


staying inside on the computer all day is no way to live, and especially is no way to live if you want to develop social skills
wisdom
"the law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread" - anatole france

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Narts
Rank: sexually identify as an assault rifle

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Narts » Sat May 21, 2016 4:34 am

Dating advice from girls: Just stand around and wait for something to happen

Generally when I go outside the only people who approach me are the people who try to sell me something. And the ones who ask for directions I guess.

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scraggypunk
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by scraggypunk » Sat May 21, 2016 5:15 am

well yeah nobody wants to talk to men, statistically speaking they're either going to be boring or terrible
wisdom
"the law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread" - anatole france

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Linkman
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Linkman » Sat May 21, 2016 5:31 am

Statistically speaking.
"everytime I try to draw xen I end up drawing a kangaroo smoking a cigar while chainsawing a tree" - Deoxy
"I can't believe I'm the only person who voted Stallone. His appeal lies in watching is movies again and again just to hear what the hell he's talking about." - Kilteh

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Guesty

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Guesty » Sat May 21, 2016 5:32 am

Thanks for linking to the other thread! I forgot I made it.
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daisy
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by daisy » Sat May 21, 2016 5:37 am

hey m8 got a spare rizla?
no

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Sniffit II
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Sniffit II » Sat May 21, 2016 5:45 am

If there's any chance you may end up with mutual emotions with someone, it's usually best to clear it up before they finish their degree and have to return to a different continent.
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Linkman
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Linkman » Sat May 21, 2016 6:25 am

Sniffit II wrote:If there's any chance you may end up with mutual emotions with someone, it's usually best to clear it up before they finish their degree and have to return to a different continent.
Best advice in this topic so far. Practical and true!
"everytime I try to draw xen I end up drawing a kangaroo smoking a cigar while chainsawing a tree" - Deoxy
"I can't believe I'm the only person who voted Stallone. His appeal lies in watching is movies again and again just to hear what the hell he's talking about." - Kilteh

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Bonesy
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Bonesy » Sat May 21, 2016 7:31 am

get a hooker

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Guesty

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Guesty » Sat May 21, 2016 10:03 am

scraggypunk wrote:just be outside in the world. walk to places instead of driving/biking/etc if time isn't a concern. go into public places and see what happens. be around people and you'll naturally get more social without even thinking about it


staying inside on the computer all day is no way to live, and especially is no way to live if you want to develop social skills
This is good advice! Can I do this alone, or is it weird if I don't bring a friend?
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Narts
Rank: sexually identify as an assault rifle

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Narts » Sat May 21, 2016 1:31 pm

Spoilers: It's terrible advice.

If you're a man and don't actively do something, nothing will happen.

Especially if you're autistic and don't understand how to just "be social"

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scraggypunk
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Location: deoxy knight

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by scraggypunk » Sun May 22, 2016 1:02 pm

when i say "see what happens" i don't mean "wait for something to happen"

i mean "watch them in order to learn how to person"
wisdom
"the law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread" - anatole france

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Pkdragon
Rank: the mafia with a mouth

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Pkdragon » Sun May 22, 2016 1:06 pm

kidnap her
HPD wrote:You know the only thing on the agenda of the Squirtle Squad is pure, unadulterated chaos.

That, and watching Euros squirm.

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scraggypunk
Rank: legendary cartographer
Location: deoxy knight

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by scraggypunk » Sun May 22, 2016 1:41 pm

no
wisdom
"the law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread" - anatole france

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Sven

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Sven » Sun May 22, 2016 3:57 pm

oh hey Guesty you've messaged me a couple times on IRC while i've been out/afk.

just be outside in the world.

it's pretty much just this. you're going to meet more people when you do things vs when you don't do things.

more specific advice should be doled out by your therapist.

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Pkdragon
Rank: the mafia with a mouth

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Pkdragon » Sun May 22, 2016 4:13 pm




i only wish youtube had more than the audio


but even with the audio alone, it pretty much covers everything you need to know

it doubles as an excellent guide to playing a bard in D&D
Spoiler: show
don't actually do this
HPD wrote:You know the only thing on the agenda of the Squirtle Squad is pure, unadulterated chaos.

That, and watching Euros squirm.

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Sven

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Sven » Sun May 22, 2016 4:21 pm

alright pkdragon, i've kidnapped someone. but i'm having a bit of trouble inspiring hope, they keep telling me that they just want to go home.

i have tried some playful touching in the spirit of taharrush gamai but this only seems to upset them further.

should i just hire a hooker instead?

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Pkdragon
Rank: the mafia with a mouth

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Pkdragon » Sun May 22, 2016 4:25 pm

if you are having trouble inspiring hope you need to spend more time on the neglect emotionally step. do you have a basement?


hiring a hooker may be easier but far less satisfying
HPD wrote:You know the only thing on the agenda of the Squirtle Squad is pure, unadulterated chaos.

That, and watching Euros squirm.

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Sven

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Sven » Sun May 22, 2016 4:31 pm

you're absolutely right pkdragon, after only two days it would be very silly of me to expect to have truly neglected their emotional needs. perhaps i shouldn't be engaging in conversation with them.

a basement is a very interesting idea pkdragon! at this juncture i have placed the kidnapped in my attic. perhaps an environment of concrete is more suited to emotional neglect than the warm earthen tones of my attic floorboards?

your advice is most appreciated, i will stay with this task. the D.E.N.N.I.S. method will not fail me.

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Sven

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Sven » Sun May 22, 2016 4:46 pm

lmfao okay i actually listened to it best segment

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Narts
Rank: sexually identify as an assault rifle

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Narts » Sun May 22, 2016 5:23 pm

I've been spending, what... 8 years now? Doing things like going outside, attending parties, interacting with people and in general going through the motions of having something resembling a social life, as best as an emotionless dalek with a tiny little scarred black heart can anyway. And I don't feel like I'm any closer to the ultimate life goal of any high school nerd (getting laid) after which you have pretty much done everything and can peacefully commit seppuku.

Idk I guess what I'm saying is that while it's certainly not a bad idea to go outside more don't get discouraged if you don't get instant results.

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scraggypunk
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by scraggypunk » Sun May 22, 2016 6:36 pm

yeah but you're like a super creepy weirdo, narts
wisdom
"the law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread" - anatole france

daisy
Rank: Crucified in the Great Meme War

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by daisy » Mon May 23, 2016 5:06 am

Pkdragon wrote:kidnap her
Someone's seen Deadpool.

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Pkdragon
Rank: the mafia with a mouth

Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by Pkdragon » Mon May 23, 2016 6:29 am

guilty as charged

watched it (again) last night actually :D
HPD wrote:You know the only thing on the agenda of the Squirtle Squad is pure, unadulterated chaos.

That, and watching Euros squirm.

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monkymeet
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Re: So I need dating advice. Badly.

Post by monkymeet » Mon May 23, 2016 12:12 pm

so like i've always been in the belief that you don't need to actively pursue dating in itself, but just look for more connections, cuz more friends is more better

like, don't go out looking to get a girlfriend, that can happen with time

go out looking for friends. hang out in groups. meet lots of people. some people are terrible, some people are great. but in order to find more great people you have to meet a lot of people first

and patience is a virtue. yeah maybe that first female friend you get is like, super duper perfect in every way. maybe you will get your heart broken. but you have so much time and so many more connections to make. don't get super hung up on the person you think is "the one". that doesn't do anyone any favours. accept that maybe you aren't the one for her. i mean, you probably never noticed how many times you may have broken someone elses heart without knowing.

but be yourself. be real. i mean, i guess try to at least not be too much weirdness on first meeting, but don't be completely artificial. chances are high that someone out there will enjoy you for who you are (even if youre narts). but you have to try to open all the doors before you can find the right one.

also online dating is kinda dumb i think. i'd suggest meeting up in groups a la couchsurfing or like meetup.com where you can find at least common interest groups. i guess it's up to your own experiences, but i think for guys it's not exactly the most inviting world for tindr and stuff cuz girls get hella messages
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