The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

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Dragon Fogel
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The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Fri Oct 17, 2008 10:57 am

Text adventure time again! In today's text adventure, you (whoever wants to play) will take on the role of Nopor Puss.

Your mission is to obtain the Inflatable Amulet of Pomposity. Why? For no reason whatsoever, of course! Naturally, though, being Nopor Puss, you strive to make your quest as pointless as possible. Expect a perfectly straightforward command to be ignored because Nopor Puss doesn't find it pointless enough.

And now, we begin.

You are in an ancient temple. The Inflatable Amulet of Pomposity is sitting on a pedestal in front of you. What will you do?
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Linkman » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:07 am

Look for something to climb the pedestal with. Dammit that's tall.
"everytime I try to draw xen I end up drawing a kangaroo smoking a cigar while chainsawing a tree" - Deoxy
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by x0_000 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:07 am

take pedestal
Only in math can you buy 600 cantaloupes and not look like a nutter.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:16 am

You see a ladder nearby which is much taller than the pedestal.

You attempt to take the pedestal, since it's quite pointless to do so. However, much to your disappointment, it's not attached to the ground and is actually rather light. You were hoping to pointlessly struggle to move it for hours, but since that won't be the case, you decide to leave it where it is for now.
Dragon Fogel,
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Linkman » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:35 pm

Use ladder to hit the pedestal and knock it down.
"everytime I try to draw xen I end up drawing a kangaroo smoking a cigar while chainsawing a tree" - Deoxy
"I can't believe I'm the only person who voted Stallone. His appeal lies in watching is movies again and again just to hear what the hell he's talking about." - Kilteh

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Fri Oct 17, 2008 12:42 pm

You pick up the ladder, but it's so tall that it throws you off-balance and you trip, dropping the ladder in the process. The ladder is now propped up against the side of the pedestal, and extends a long way up past it.
Dragon Fogel,
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by x0_000 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:05 pm

find grue
Only in math can you buy 600 cantaloupes and not look like a nutter.

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Dragon Fogel
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:13 pm

You attempt to search for a grue, reasoning that since they don't exist in this game, you'll never find one and so it's pointless to look. You continue doing this until you think of another pointless action.
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by onewaystreet » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:24 pm

Find another quest.
thefalman wrote:Honestly, just when I thought we could all have a nice topic about mocking ridiculously, overly hardcore fundamentalists, it has to turn into a religious debate.

You bastards.
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I know it's an alien concept to you RS, but there's no need to act so surprised.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Fri Oct 17, 2008 1:30 pm

You spend several hours searching for another quest, but there isn't one nearly as pointless as this one. You're quite pleased at what a waste of time that search was.
Dragon Fogel,
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Linkman » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:25 pm

Climb the ladder all the way to the top.
"everytime I try to draw xen I end up drawing a kangaroo smoking a cigar while chainsawing a tree" - Deoxy
"I can't believe I'm the only person who voted Stallone. His appeal lies in watching is movies again and again just to hear what the hell he's talking about." - Kilteh

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by x0_000 » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:26 pm

push the button
Only in math can you buy 600 cantaloupes and not look like a nutter.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Fri Oct 17, 2008 2:45 pm

Since the ladder goes far past your intended target, it would be quite pointless to climb all the way to the top. So you do. You emerge through a hole at the top of the temple.

There is no button to push. This means it's pointless to attempt to push any buttons, so you do. Much to your delight, this has no effect whatsoever.
Dragon Fogel,
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragonite » Fri Oct 17, 2008 7:27 pm

jump off temple

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by monkymeet » Fri Oct 17, 2008 9:34 pm

Take temple.
imageshack swallowed up my sig. This is a placeholder.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Terragent » Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:03 am

integrate temple

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Guest » Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:07 am

temple ladder

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Dragon Fogel
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:49 am

You jump off the temple - quite pointlessly, as there's a perfectly good set of stairs leading down - and land by the main entrance.

You attempt to take the temple. It won't budge an inch, and you spend hours pointlessly attempting this. What a wonderfully pointless idea that was!

You begin calculating the integral of the temple. You come to the conclusion that the temple is a constant, so integrating it produces (Temple)x + c.

You decide to build a temple to worship the ridiculously long ladder. You look around for a particularly pointless material to build it with, and decide to build it out of sand on a nearby beach. You build the sand temple in exquisite detail, including a 1:1 scale model of the ridiculously long ladder, only for all your work to be washed away when the tide comes in. How wonderfully pointless that was! Oh, wait, upon further inspection, the sand ladder is still there.
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Xenesis » Sat Oct 18, 2008 2:54 am

Observe daylight savings.
IST wrote:Even the worst individual needs to discover the joys of a chicken statue that is also a pregnant blonde housewife.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 3:02 am

You decide to observe daylight savings time for no particular reason. Since there are no clocks in the vicinity, and you aren't even wearing a watch, you can't even do anything as a result of this pointless decision. You're pleased that you thought of it.
Dragon Fogel,
Marquis Elmdor's Arch-Nemesis

Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by monkymeet » Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:28 am

take amulet
imageshack swallowed up my sig. This is a placeholder.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by onewaystreet » Sat Oct 18, 2008 5:30 am

Reproduce by budding.
thefalman wrote:Honestly, just when I thought we could all have a nice topic about mocking ridiculously, overly hardcore fundamentalists, it has to turn into a religious debate.

You bastards.
thefalman wrote:
RadioShadow wrote:Including having SEX? :o
I know it's an alien concept to you RS, but there's no need to act so surprised.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:24 am

You go back to the temple entrance, climb the wall of the temple while pointlessly avoiding the stairs, climb down the ladder, and take the amulet, since it's quite pointless to just take it without checking for traps. Unfortunately, you find this doesn't trigger any traps, so you put the amulet back and climb the ladder, jump down to the temple entrance, and go back to the beach. It won't do to just take the amulet like this, you'll need to pointlessly set traps for yourself, and then pointlessly trigger them by taking the amulet.

You attempt to reproduce by budding. You lack the necessary biology to achieve this, however, making it a pointless endeavor. Perfect!
Dragon Fogel,
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragonite » Sat Oct 18, 2008 7:49 am

Take amulet and throw it in the sea.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by x0_000 » Sat Oct 18, 2008 8:13 am

take sea and throw it into amulet
Only in math can you buy 600 cantaloupes and not look like a nutter.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragonite » Sat Oct 18, 2008 8:18 am

x0_000 wrote:take sea and throw it into amulet
lol

That is genius.

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 9:13 am

You go back, take the amulet and throw it into the sea, since this will make it much harder to retrieve. You then go through a pointlessly convoluted series of events to retrieve it, then put it back where you found it and return to your current position. Once again, you've gone through a large amount of trouble to accomplish absolutely nothing. Well done.

You cup your hands and pick up sea water, then go back to where the amulet is and throw water on it. Somehow, you manage to do this without spilling a drop on the way. You do this repeatedly, eventually flooding the amulet's chamber with sea water. This will make a nice trap if you enter the chamber through one of the pointlessly watertight doors instead of using the ladder. Surprisingly, although the amulet is inflatable, it apparently doesn't float. It may be an even more pointless item than you thought. You climb the ladder, jump down to the temple entrance, and return to the beach.
Dragon Fogel,
Marquis Elmdor's Arch-Nemesis

Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by monkymeet » Sat Oct 18, 2008 9:18 am

Electrocute water.
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Dragon Fogel
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 9:32 am

You don't have anything that can be used to electrify the water with. This makes it very pointless to try anyway, so you do! Unsurprisingly, nothing happens. Just as you planned!
Dragon Fogel,
Marquis Elmdor's Arch-Nemesis

Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by x0_000 » Sat Oct 18, 2008 9:43 am

eat chips in a dramatic manner
Only in math can you buy 600 cantaloupes and not look like a nutter.

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Dragon Fogel
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 9:51 am

You have no chips to eat, dramatically or otherwise. Unsurprisingly, this does little to deter you. You eat the chips you don't have in a dramatic manner.
Dragon Fogel,
Marquis Elmdor's Arch-Nemesis

Don't call me "Dragon".

WWN's War Room High Scores: http://www.celestialbridge.net/fogel/aw ... scores.txt
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:06 am

You go back to the amulet, which is about six feet under water at this point, pick it up, and attempt to eat it. However, this only serves to get a large amount of sea water in your mouth. The water pushes the amulet out of your mouth every time you try to swallow it, so after several pointless attempts to eat it despite that, you put it back and return to where you were. You really like all this pointless backtracking!
Dragon Fogel,
Marquis Elmdor's Arch-Nemesis

Don't call me "Dragon".

WWN's War Room High Scores: http://www.celestialbridge.net/fogel/aw ... scores.txt
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by monkymeet » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:12 am

check inventory
imageshack swallowed up my sig. This is a placeholder.

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Dragon Fogel
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:14 am

You are not carrying anything. You acquired quite a few items on your last pointless adventure, and saw no reason not to leave them behind for this one, so that's what you did.
Dragon Fogel,
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by x0_000 » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:22 am

take inventory
Only in math can you buy 600 cantaloupes and not look like a nutter.

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Dragon Fogel
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 10:27 am

You take inventory of the number of grains of sand on the beach, the number of drops of water in the sea, and the number of oxygen molecules in the air.
Dragon Fogel,
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Don't call me "Dragon".

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Linkman » Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:22 pm

Mix them all and see what turns up.
"everytime I try to draw xen I end up drawing a kangaroo smoking a cigar while chainsawing a tree" - Deoxy
"I can't believe I'm the only person who voted Stallone. His appeal lies in watching is movies again and again just to hear what the hell he's talking about." - Kilteh

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Dragon Fogel
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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragon Fogel » Sat Oct 18, 2008 1:58 pm

You mix the sand, water, and oxygen molecules and produce... wet sand. With air in it. You can't think of any way this mixture could possibly help you, so you put it in your inventory.
Dragon Fogel,
Marquis Elmdor's Arch-Nemesis

Don't call me "Dragon".

WWN's War Room High Scores: http://www.celestialbridge.net/fogel/aw ... scores.txt
AW1 version: http://www.celestialbridge.net/fogel/aw ... scores.txt

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Re: The Pointless Adventures of Nopor Puss!

Post by Dragonite » Sat Oct 18, 2008 9:41 pm

go to temple.
Climb up ladder.
Build second floor on temple.

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